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I tried to find video of Beavis yelling, "FIRE! FIRE!" from back in the day but apparently there was some controversy where Beavis got blamed for some kid burning up his trailer or something, so MTV went so far as changing all the episodes and apparently there's no evidence of his pyromania. Except in my heart. And yours.

Also, way to blame Beavis for a trailer fire, America. How about you blame that kid's mom who, rather than raising her kid, probably spent her days watching Maury and amassing her beanie baby collection in the hopes that she could one day sell it to buy some new tits. I'd bet money that Peanut the Elephant didn't buy her much more than a pack of Marlboros and some Hostess Snowballs.

Anyway, "like a house on fire" is an idiom. Our house isn't really on fire, but come to think of it, maybe I'll put up a link to Paypal on here so idiots think it burned down and will donate to the "You'd Help Us Rebuild Our Life If You Loved Jesus" fund and then I can take the mad cash it pulls in and spend it on what else? Beef jerky. Also maybe like a couch or some furniture for the front room since we don't really have any besides R's couch from his apartment, on which I don't even want to know how many people have had sex. God, we are so classy. Get ready for the housewarming/STD party!

So anyway, I'm changing the title of the blog because we're gonna change the name of the house, plus it's all punny and entendre-y* because R and I met like 5 seconds ago and are all in L-0-V-E love and apparently the pheromones or whatever made us lose our minds and enter into like a gajillion dollars worth of debt together. Now us kooky kids are totally overwhelmed with the fact that hi, we have like a house and shit and have to put stuff in it and we have some slightly, uh, differing taste, so get ready for some awesome posts about him trying to put some ashtray from his grandmother's beauty shop in our home and me using it as firewood. See? FIRE!

* If you didn't know that getting on "like a house on fire" basically means that you like each other a whole bunch, really quickly, then please donate to our You'd Help Us Rebuild Our Life If You Loved Jesus fund through my Paypal account. Many thanks!