Bless Their Hearts

As he is in the process of moving out, my next post will be entitled, "A Brief History of Disgusting Shit in R's Apartment," but you will have to wait for that one with bated breath because my camera needs some new juice and I kind of refuse to go over there right now (except to humor myself and maybe you) for fear of disease, roaches attempting to nest on me, and his choices in body wash. No, I cannot use your Axe Recovery Shower Gel. Why? Because it smells like a dude. I wholly admit that I, like you, am a marketer's dream, but even I am not so delusional to believe that use of such body wash "cures hangovers." Try drinking less. I hear it's a proven hangover cure.

Anyway, my parents get here tonight for 5 days of SUPERFUNTIMES with their only daughter. For purposes of anonymity and because my brother really calls them these types of names, we will call my Mom "Reno" and my Dad "Bob Biscuits." Reno and Bob Biscuits get in tonight and thus will embark on their adventure of cheesy tourist activities, QT with us and Friday night with R's parents. Oh yes. The parents are meeting for the first time. It's going to be a famstravanganza of food and first impressions. Oh, and vodka. On "his" side anyway. You know, the alcoholic side.

Lord help us.

Since you all will be unable to witness what can only be described as an "experience" and I fear my after-the-fact description will fail to do it justice, I just want to give you a preview of what we're in for:

R's Mom

and

Reno

Note that I am implying Reno (my Mom) is Tom Hanks in this clip, NOT the blubbering lady baseball player. Let the good times roll!