Bootless and Fancy Free

So, I didn't puke on Friday. Thanks to an afternoon laced with dramamine and cherry wine, not even a sixer of Oberon and about a pound of homemade beef jerky from the shady convenience store across the street from the docked schooner could send me into the spins aboard the Good Ship Smelly Crew.

Everyone who slept on the boat with us was AARP material and on a trip for their 20th-42nd anniversary. One couple asked us if we were newlyweds and I wanted to say, "Hi, if we were newlyweds, I hope we'd be in the tropics somewhere doing it for a week, not sitting on an old boat in northern Michigan, eating turkey sandwiches. Clearly, we just live in sin." Due to my good upbringing, I refrained from saying all that and just hit them with the living in sin part. Watching those people squirm was almost as fun as that time I went to the Scientology center in Philly under the guise of being interested in what they had to offer (when really I was just there to get literature for my Katie Holmes Halloween costume) and my tour guide got all defensive, probably because I started asking questions about Xenu and John Travolta. If screwing with people was an occupation, I'd be like CEO of Your Fly Is Open, Inc.

All in all though, the boat was cool. I got to help hoist the massive sails and then tried to instigate a mutiny amongst all the senior citizens, but I guess I'd already lost their support by being a heathen strumpet, so that part wasn't quite a success.

Also, the wedding rocked. I love weddings, always have. See, my everyday emotional spectrum generally already ranges from excited to crying to joyous to drunk. So a day with a wedding is fantastic because all of the events to trigger those feelings are tidily prepackaged into an 8 hour period, rather than me having to go out of my way to find and/or create excitement/drama/celebration/vodkasodas. This one was especially good times because it was one of my fave people getting married, I got to catch up with a bunch of people I hadn't seen in over a year, and there was late night pizza and beer for everyone in the bar below the reception. Note to everyone getting married: Providing snacks at 2am WILL get you a better present.